Being a natural mom of a three-year-old, I would be straight out lying if I say, I haven’t had a ‘bad mum day’ in the past couple weeks or months. I have had plenty. And I still do. But the good thing about it is that none of it stresses me, like it used to.
These hard to forget, ‘bad mum days’ now come and pass by, like any other. Not worrying me one bit. Want know how?
Though I learnt it the hard way - the solution itself is pretty simple, once you get the hang of it.
It all hit me, a couple years back, when I saw a bunch of mothers complaining about the same problems I faced on a daily basis. It was then when I realized that the problem doesn’t lie within me or any other parent, but in the criteria of mom that we as a society, have set.
Even though the route of the problem had been detected quite early, the solution to this chaotic mess wasnot found until just a few months back. Because despite the detection of the problem, the pressure from society was still on.
Family, friends and even strangers found it their duty to rub in something or the other related to motherhood that made me feel like a terrible mother.
But as they say, God helps those who help themselves. So one morning, after a sleepless night, standing amidst a pile of dirty laundry with a cranky baby in one hand and a cold leftover sandwich in the other, I decide to deal with the situation.
So mentioned below are 9 pointers that got me through this mess, without breaking down every now and then. I’m sure it will be of great help.
1. It’s just a Phase
Have you ever imagined, how after every dark night, comes a bright promising day? Once I realized the reality of this fact, I was sure that this phase too shall pass. Leaving me stronger than ever.
2. Motherhood is not Your Life
It’s hard time we all realize that our lives do not begin and end at Motherhood alone. There is a life far beyond it, which no one should be ashamed of enjoying. A little girl’s night out or a date night that includes no checking up on your little one after every few minutes, is a must have!
3. You have your Shortcomings
Like every sane human being, you too have a fair share of shortcomings that in no way makes you better or worse than anyone else. As soon as you start to accept yourself along with all your shortcomings, life takes a positive turn.
4. Count your Tasks
This one is by far the most helpful. Rather than counting the amount of work that you weren’t able to do, count the amount of work you were able to do! Even the smallest ones. Such as wiping the table after your little one decided to pour her food over it. This made me realize that my day wasn’t as useless as I thought it went.
5. Take Only what You can Digest
The amount of work you decide to do each day, makes a lot of difference. If you plan on taking more tasks than you can manage, it will do nothing but stress you out. and stress my dear is the last thing you want on your mind.
6. Not Every Task Needs to be done Today
I may not be suggesting you to procrastinate, but if a task can be delayed without giving you a hard time, let it be. Take that extra time, to indulge in a quick nap or may be some stress busting yoga.
7. Stop Comparing Yourself with Other Moms
Comparing yourself with moms means setting a hard to get criteria for yourself. Understand that every child’s needs are different. Where some may have an easy time putting them to sleep, you might not. Exactly like how you have an easy time feeding your little one, while others might not!
8. One Bad day, Won’t Affect your Child’s Personality
As mothers, we often feel guilty about how your actions may reflect on the baby. But know that no actions done once, will make your baby hate you. Let go of today’s mistakes, and prepare for a better tomorrow, because that is all that matters.
9. Last But not the Least, ENJOY
Know for a fact that once your babies grow up, you are going to miss these times. So try to enjoy the time rather than fret over what went wrong.
Of course I have my fair share of bad days even now, but the guilt feeling I once had, is all gone! Your children will always think of you as Super mom, no matter what! So be proud!