Have you ever given it a thought to this monumental question?
Have you ever felt jealous of the amount of freedom that childfree couples enjoy?
Do you despise such couples for being selfish and choosing not to have children?
I think it’s high time that we get out of the dramatic online debates about terrorism, Muslims, gay rights and the US. And focus on such debates which actually matter to humans. Obviously, real people like you and me are interested in real topics so that we can come up with solutions for the betterment of humanity.
Looking closely at this statement of childfree people are selfish, we can see many interesting sides of the story. Firstly, such couples prefer freedom over the restrictions of family life. Secondly, they can have some physical disability but even then it cannot be an excuse for not having a child. Thirdly, freedom in life should not be an excuse to enjoy the real bliss of family life. Finally, no human should and can be selfish enough to go against the system devised by nature.
Therefore, I believe that childfree people are selfish owing to many factors and reasons. And most importantly there is always a way out of any negativity.
Are Childfree Couples Selfish by Choice?
You and your love might be enjoying your life to the fullest. It’s so perfect to a point that you don’t have room for a kid to mess up with that perfection.
The modern times and consumer behaviorism have ensured that as individuals we indulge in everything that is purely materialistic. When two people meet with the same ambitions then of course, there ethics and ideals will be purely materialistic. They wouldn’t even have time to think about the bliss of married life. For them, achieving physical goals is the ultimate reality and there is no room for spirituality.
If you would ask a childfree couple, “Does it make you a selfish human being for not having a child by choice?” They will tell you how busy you can get after having kids. They will tell about the increase in expenses and responsibilities. They will give you countless benefits of not having children. They will come up with solid reasoning to convince you that they aren’t selfish but it’s just a choice.
They may be right to some extent. Having kids is a big responsibility. You have to give full attention, time and let me tell you raising a child is also not that budget friendly. You are going to be a lot busy too. But does it give them a right to be selfish in their choices and not contributing to the society?
Being child free – a choice or a burden
Sometimes couples are not able to have children. This does not make them selfish. It is just, they are rendered disable by nature. But then it doesn’t mean that they have to be “selfish” and not have children.
Ethically and socially, they have a double responsibility, that is: be parents and be socially responsible citizens.
Under such a scenario they can adopt children from a less privileged class of society and ensure a better future for them. Wasn;t it one of the reasons for our love Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt?
So, your physical inability does not stop you from having children. You do not have to be selfish and child free.
Why being childfree by choice just plain selfish?
As mentioned earlier, the external pressures of society have changed our ideals, ambitions and life styles. We are not satisfied with what we have. We strive to reach glorified goals. And once we have them, we have dreamt of another silver lining. So we are caught up in a never ending struggle of being ‘better’ and ‘super.’
Not having a child gives us the freedom to dictate the hours of the day by our choice. We are free to travel and indulge in leisure-time.
Some might argue that childfree couples are just plain selfish and callous. But think from their point of view. They are not ready to take such a huge responsibility. They might be strong enough to take on the world but having a child, calls for different dynamics, which might be overwhelming for some, and thus being labelled as selfish. Sometimes the past experiences with their parents render them ineffective to have children of their own. Remember if any one of you had a difficult childhood, it doesn't mean that you cannot give a better and bright future to your own children.
If couples feel kids are a big responsibility and will destroy their freedom, then they might need to rethink and strategize their lives
Still, there is a view that calls childfree couple selfish without any excuse at all.
Have you ever felt what is it like to be called mommy? Or having a toddler holding your finger and showing you little things he loves. Have you ever thought of what is it like to have a baby who smiles at you and cries when you leave home? Isn’t that adorable? If that doesn’t make you want to have a baby then you might be a little selfish. I’m Sorry!
It’s beautiful to have kids!
No human has the right to deny the system designed by nature. Well, it is actually difficult to go against nature’s system. Those who deny or resist it, usually end up having an unhappy and dissatisfied life.
However, the beauty of having a kid is incomparable to any other delight you have ever experienced. Being mother is beautiful. You will go through some unbearable pain but the time you will hold your new-born's little fingers. It will make you cry with joy. It’s a miracle of nature, it’s a living sign of your love.
Dedicating yourself to raise a kid is what gives a women title of ‘Mother’. And it’s above any job, above any relationship. It’s a selfless connection, and a love without any conditions, in fact, the purest form of love. This is the status given by God to women only. If a woman doesn’t want to have this self-sacrificing relation then this is what makes her selfish.
For how long you can enjoy your life based on your needs only? For how long you can enjoy your ‘me time’? For how long you can work like a machine? One day your career might end, but your kids will be there. You will have grandchildren. You will have someone to share your achievements and your life’s stories with. By the end of the day, it is not only going to be you, your partner and a lonely weekend. But you will have a home with people that you will call you ‘Family’.