Heartbreak is real! It hurts and you feel like you’ve lost everything in life, maybe even yourself. While being in love, we detach ourselves from the idea of breakups, and force ourselves into believing that this will last forever. We literally absorb the very lifestyle of being in love; so much so that for most of us, the hardest part about breakup is breaking the habit; the habit of a good morning message, or the habit of talking to them every night. The habit of cooking for him on the weekends or even little things like lunch breaks, matching outfits and midnight snack dates.
You feel like there’s very less left in this world to look forward to because all your future goals were linked to that one person who walked away. So here’s a prayer that may you never have to bid farewell to your beloved, may you always be in love, may the dreams of your forever come true, and may you always have your lovers hand to hold.
However in case if it doesn’t work out that way, here’s what you must really stay miles away from.
What Things not to do after a breakup
1. The nasty-romantic-beautiful-unrealistic-annoying-depressing movies!
No really! Why! Why do these movies show such a perfect ending? Why can’t it be like, the guy got struck by lightening right before he was about to break up, and that made him realize her worth, so he died without breaking her heart, but he died none the less, because he deserves it, because why would he break-up with her!
Just Stay away from these horror stories. All they’re going to do is make you weep like a baby, and then you’ll start to miss him, and then you’d want to message him and just, NO.
2. The social media madness!
It’s the worst thing to know how happy he or she is on social media right after break-up. It hurts more than an F in math. Thank thy lord for all the block and delete options, and click away the torture.
3. Avoid rebounds! Take your time
Most people believe that a rebound will make you forget your ex, and you’ll be a happy bird again.
I object your honour!
This specifically implies to those who’ve just come out of a very long and serious relationship. There’s absolutely NO WAY on earth that a new person could substitute for someone you gave your heart and soul out to for years. He may be better looking, he maybe sweeter, he maybe Leonardo di Caprio for that matter, but he’s not him!
It may make you feel better in the beginning because he or she is filling up that emptiness, but very soon you’ll start getting annoyed by their habits, end up comparing and it will be a whole new disaster.
My heartbreak advice is, give yourself time. A very real thing has happened and you need to get over it completely before you fall into another one.
P.s: that Leo thing was a joke; he’d be a great rebound. Go for it girl!
4. Say no to the “favourite spots”
Let’s face it. We all have a few spots we go to, with our boyfriend/girlfriend. These spots have a special place in our heart for many reasons like, you asked her out on that bridge, or you had your first kiss in that club, what so ever. At any cost, AVOID!
With all the beautiful memories attached to these spots, you will feel absolutely empty and lonely. Save yourself from that feeling.
5. Get rid of the gifts
I will not suggest that you continue drinking in the coffee mug he gifted or you continue wearing the tie she gave. Either return it or burn it. Gift it for all we know, but toss it out before it drags you to his apartment where you see him with someone else and make a fool out of yourself.
6. Avoid the mutuals
It’s okay to have the same friends, but in the initial stage, avoid them. Meeting them will lead to questions and statements like
“omg what happened?”
“Did you hear about that girl he was with last night”?
“Overcoming heartbreak must be terrible for you”
This is the stage where you wake up everyday and fight your thoughts, explaining yourself that it happened and why it happened, I bet you wouldn’t want to do the same with every other friend you meet.
7. Don’t over analyze
Yes it happened, and you can’t seem to understand why. You always find yourself thinking about it and asking yourself questions. It’s normal… unless it’s done all the time. Pause! Take a deep breath and exhale the excessive dirt in your mind. Over analyzing is a massive waste of time. It’s okay to demand closure, it’s your right, but avoid running back to his door with a list full of questions every now and then. Let it sink in.
8. Quit lying to yourself
A lot of people use pretence as their coping mechanism. They believe that if they pretend to be okay, eventually they will be okay. That’s not a good way to deal with it. By faking a smile, all you’re doing is suppressing the pain that is ought to come out one day, and that day will be a storm for you and for the ones around you. Feel it from your head to toe and let it hurt you until one day it just doesn’t.
Indeed heartbreaks ache and getting over a heartbreak might seem like the toughest thing to do. Yes perhaps Love hurts, but does it always?
Don’t let the fear of a broken heart keep you from the happiness of a heart that’s loved and cared for. Don’t regret your decisions of dating a specific someone just because he’s no longer by your side. Remember at that point in time, that’s exactly what you wanted and you went for it. Every person that comes in our life teaches us something beautiful, gives us glorious memories and leaves a mark on our heart. Cherish the good days. Like john green says in his novel the fault in our stars
“Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”
So love none the less.
Must Read How to focus on yourself after a breakup